small..big...bigger..

Anything ever start small.
Or with the idea of small...
and turn big?
Ugh... BIG.
and you know what.. dreams small or big to start.. can get bigger and bigger or maybe smaller.
Regardless they are expensive and over baring and stressful and heart breaking.


<3 Be Peaceful

push and tug

i feel like sometimes its so easy
and other times i just cant figure out why its so hard.
like i cant reach you.
you are somewhere else
and i am nothing in the distant world you are submerged in
i feel like it will be worth it.
fight for the one you want and what you want and it will pay off but..
maybe it would pay off just to take the easy route
the route that just sits and waits

what am i supposed to do? i need answers
where are you?

goodbye. hello.

Good Bye Lori Anderson.
You have been a really good roommate for the last couple months and I will miss you dearly.

This day is bitter sweet. I am sad to see my roommate go and I am really not looking forward to the possibility of a new roommate taking her spot in my room but..

It is the being to the end.
I cannot believe that it is already a week into July and that in just over a month I will be home in Englewood with a month to do as I please.
Then back to the cold of New York but also back to good people.

Overall everything is alright.. I am just ready to be able to check Externship of my check list and move onto the next tasks.

<3 Be Peaceful

indecisive.

I feel like that kid who has no idea what path they want to take.
No idea what I want to do for the rest of my life, for my career.
I have interest in many things but does that mean I should do it for a living?
Probably not.
Why am I so confused with life?
I wish one thing would come so easily and naturally to me that it would be an obvious decision.
I love baking but so do million of other people.. doesn't mean they should make a career of it.
And not wanting to plate desserts in a slave shop for the rest of my life or a great part of it really cuts into the opportunities.
But maybe baking is what I should be doing.
Or maybe I should be doing math.
Or maybe I should be a normal person and be like a waitress or something.
Why so hard.

<3 Be Peaceful 

Life is Life no matter which way you live it.

My Parents came to Orlando this weekend.
It was nice to have some unconditional love.
I miss having them around more but
I know this is part of growing up and it is helping me figure out who I am when I stand alone.
In Orlando I have been doing alright
not everything is perfect but with 46 more days I can't really complain.
I have been getting more days off and things have been going alright.
I am ready to have a break from work and school and I'm ready to see my friends in New York.
Overall I am trying to be positive.
Trying to get out of the apartment a little more
and trying to read more because I realized it for some reason is extremely relaxing to me.

Besides all of this..
I need to get some stuff together in life.
Figure out what is coming next because it is approaching fast.

10.10.10<3
<3 Be Peaceful

Pay me no mind.

All I feel lately is numb.
There are some things you need in life. Not a want but a need.
Some of the needs can fall by the way side for a while but sooner or later...
It's bound to catch up.

In real life I do a lot of things on my own.
And I don't mind being alone.
I have never been an attention seeker and I don't think that will change about me but..
Attention is a necessity in some outlets.
Without it the outlet is non existent.. if that makes sense.

What I am trying to say is.. I don't have time for this childhood nonsense.
Step up your game.

<3 Be Peaceful and never be number 2

ups and downs

I haven't blogged in a while.. I guess I just haven't had much to say or the energy to say it.

I like living in Orlando but I don't have the worlds best job in my opinion.
I believe Disney has more to offer than what I have been given and for that I am truly disappointed.
What I am not disappointed about is the people I have met and the things I have learned.
I can't say I have learned much Baking wise as I do pretty much the same thing everyday at work but..

What I have learned is.. what I do not want to do to make a living, how to be a good worker especially compared to others, the more questions you ask the more information you may or may not get, and that if you bonded once..you might bond again.

I am grateful to have encountered people such as my prep chef at work because she is truly a pastry chef and has been nothing but insightful since I met her. I am also grateful to live with 5 other girls and be able to say BEEN THERE.. DONE THAT.. bought that shirt and don't wanna do it again!

Although I am grateful for what Disney and Orlando has offered me..
I have found myself missing New York and the little that Hyde Park has to offer.
Now don't get me wrong.. I don't miss the snow or cold.
But I do miss the people.. the things to do.. the simple life.. and meals being made for me =)

For now I am looking ahead for the next 65 days to fly by and to have a month of vacation in my own bed.
Hopefully sometime in between all this mess I will get to spend time with my Boyfriend.
ugh.

<3 Be Peaceful cause nothing else will do.