I believe.

I have not blogged in almost two months.. and I am not sure I have anything to say yet but...
As an Update.. I am now in Chocolate and Confections class here at the CIA with Chef Greweling and I am pretty much loving every minute of it.
I am not a professional in the subject matter but I am trying and his sarcasm and jokes defiantly help.
13 days until I go home for Christmas break.
Under 80 schools days until I graduate.
GRADUATE.
BOOYAH, HATERS!

<3Peace of cake

Stealing me.

With every good comes a bad.
I carry a credit card and debit card, rarely will I have cash on me. But maybe we should all rethink the convenience of debit and credit cards.
A friend ate at a restaurant the other day and later found out her debt card information had been stolen and used to rack up hundreds of dollars of debt in a state across the country.
The next day another friend posted on Facebook that their debit information had been stolen and used as well.
Ever think "that could never happen to me"
It can. Be Aware.
Everytime you hand your debit card to a server or cashier it takes seconds for them to have all the information they need to use your card.
They can double swipe your card in a machine that will steal your information or they could easily write down your card number and security code and use it on thousands of websites and in thousands of stores within hours.
The more aware you are of the websites you use, the places you shop, and eat the better off you will be. Some things you can do to help:

• Carry cash instead of handing your debit card over.
• Use secure paying methods like Pay Pal to pay online.
• Buy only from reputable stores and websites.
• Paying slightly more may be worth it to insure you are making safe transactions. 

Word of mouth is important, Spread the word to prevent Identity and Credit Theft. 

This blog is dedicated to SPENDonLIFE.com for a blog scholarship.

If you have a blog or someone you know has a blog:

Participate in this blogging scholarship about Credit theft 
Please go to: http://students.spendonlife.com/blogging-scholarship

Some place to Lay my head.

Dorms? The only way I can describe living on campus in a dorm is.. Not Fun.
Living with people you don't know and sleeping on the worlds hardest mattress? No Way.

For that reason.. Everyone is looking for that perfect apartment close to campus but not on campus.
I found an amazing steal on Vacancy.com

In Poughkeepsie, it is only about 10 minutes from school(Culinary Intitute of America) and surrounded by a mecca of food.. which is vital not only to any college student but even more important to a baking and pastry major.

The apartment is three bedrooms! Enough room for me and my two closest friends Cameron and Krissy.
Even at the highest rent, broken into three the apartment is super affordable(less than dorm payments) for the normal broke college student(I mean eating Peanut butter and Jelly, Tuna, and Ramen every night).
The most perfect aspect(remember I'm a college student) is that the apartment is right in between Marist, The Culinary, and Vassar.. A meeting ground for all students to get together and PARTTYYYY!

Grand Pointe Park apartments are perfectly priced, spacious, don't have to walk down three flights to use the kitchen, and perfect in the always important Location, Location, Location.

Grande Point Aparments on VACANCY.COM

This is where I live =/

 

 

This Is where I could Be living! =D

Faithful

Being faithful is "Adhering firmly and devotedly, as to a person, cause, or idea; loyal."
It is hard to see good examples of faith in the world sometimes.
Today is one of those days.

Bad Boys, Bad Boys, "HOLY CRAP WHAT DO I DO?!"

Yesterday was an amazing day and a perfect example of livin' it up.
My friend Kristna DePalma got 3 free tickets to see Hot Chelle Rae and The Script(both amazing bands) in concert.
So...We road tripped to Connecticut.

The thing is... when ever Krissy and I drive somewhere we can't just drive there... its always turns into an adventure.
This was no exception...

On our way to the FoxWood MGM Theater the GPS told us we had arrived at our destination and we were still in the middle of the high way..
We however out smarted the GPS and made it to the concert.
Both bands were awesome live and it was a great concert.
On our way home.. we go stuck on some sketchy detours... and then...
A car was following very closely behind me even tho I was going a decent speed in the fast lane..
Turns out it was a Cop who proceeded to SPOT LIGHT MY CAR!
Almost blinding me... I don't know about you but at my driving school they never thought me what to do when a rude cop shines his spotlight on your car in the middle of the interstate....
We pulled over non the less and he flew past us and disappeared within seconds..
IT WAS FREAKIN SCARY!

But.. we made it home... Connecticut and back, Hot Chelle Rae, The Script, brisk iced tea, and some Adele.

It's weekends like this I will always remember... Thank you Kristna DePalma and Amanda Welsh

Hot Chelle Rae Music
The Script Music

<3 Be Peaceful

Make it a memory.

This weekend I hung out with a lovely lady by the name of Kristina DePalma.
We walked the Hudson, we watched movies, we sang, danced, had a photo shoot. 
And we still have a whole night left to go...
Mind you, this campus is the most boring place on the face of the earth I am convinced.

The point of this is...
You have to make the most of what you have and what you are given.

The memories and inside jokes we make are something I will remember always.
The nights you go to bed early, sit alone, go to sleep angry.. those are nights you will never remember.
If you view life with an optimistic point of view and let your life go down the path the world takes you, you will be happier.. I can't say always happy or that you won't have to alter the path every now and then but..
You have to be willing to let the bad stuff flow and inject as much good as you can.
Not only in your life but in others as well.

I will leave you with an example... I hate the snow but.. Damn if I don't get to wear cute boots!
Optimism, it is a beautiful thing.

<3 Be Peaceful

Cheers to a new year.

October 10th, 2010.
The best decision I think I have made thus far in my life.
Making my best friend my boyfriend.
Alan is the best thing to happen to my life.
Since we have been together I have been happpier with life in general.
He is an amazing boyfriend and best friend.
I am not sure what I would honestly do without him in my life.
He is the most caring, straight forward, generous person I have ever met and I respect him so much.

Being with someone for a year may not seem like a big deal but in reality it is a huge deal.
It took us a long time to get us to the place we're at and this year has been no easy task.
Being away from the person you are madly in love with sucks.
...it sucks really bad.
But every time I get to see him is worth every minute.
So...here is to a new year and to the making of a second year with the love of my life.
Hopefully this is the first year of many.

Love like there is no tomorrow.
and if there is someone in your life you can't live with out.. you might just want to let the world do as it please and fall in love.

<3 Be Peaceful

HAPPY ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY TO MYSELF! XD

Ruh Roh!

Just now realizing I forgot to celebrate my 1 year anniversary of Peace of Cake Blog.
...Only a month late...(sept 3rd, 2010)
Well....YAYYYYYYY! anyways =D

So in other news...
I am over half way through L block and I could not be more excited.
L block is a Hodge-podge of  random classes like Restaurant Law, Nutrition, Costing, Management, and Menu Development.
And if you think they made it an easy schedule...think again.
Class from 7am-9am and not again until 6:30pm-8:30pm.... really guy?
But the classes are getting closer to ending and the nonstop projects are slowing down...
as my stress level decreases I think I can breathe a little again.
I am ready for baking classes where I rarely have homework and my stress level minimal.

Lastly... I PASSED EXTERNSHIP!!!!! YAYYY!

<3 Be Peaceful...even in culinary hell.

My Home.

Florida is where I was born, where my dad grew up, where I grew up, where I know, where most things I love are.
So when you decide that it's the place you are going to land your insults on please, go else where.
"the place where old northerners go"
"not the south. not the north"
We get it.. super original.
So we have old people. So does your state.
the difference?... nothing else was bad enough to make fun of in Florida unlike your state.
Not all of Florida is old people and I bet you'd trade any day of walking through snow to come lay on the beach in my state.
And if we are the north or the south, you're probably not very intelligent.

People need to realize that some times what they say goes deeper than they actually know.
You hate on someones town, someones home, someones car, or shoes, or shirt, or hair or anything..
But it could mean a whole lot more than just that to someone.
Maybe someone special got it for them, or it has significant meaning more than the eye can see.
Maybe that state you are making fun of is the place that I am missing more than anything and would do anything to be in right now.. with my family.. where it doesn't snow.

To me Florida is everything I know.
Florida made me who I am.
Florida is where I was raised.
And I will rep my state till I die.

Think of not only what you say but also how it will effect the people around you.

<3 Be Peaceful

Next.

3 weeks have gone since I got back to the CIA.
It has been fun to say the least.
topping last year by far. 
And I have done well so far in L block.
But moving on from the CIA is in the not so distant future.

So today.. I started a list of potential schools to further my education.
I feel as though I am a junior in high school.
Only this time for real...
Last time I only had a few choices since I was looking for a culinary school.
Now I don't know what major or where to even start looking at schools.
hmm... this should be interesting.

I better make a decision soon since applications for next fall are already being accepted.

The world is mine to be had... and I cannot wait!

<3 Be Peaceful and move on.


P.s. What does everyone think about a craft blog?

Motivation

"Motivating is the management process influencing people’s behavior based on the knowledge of what makes people “tick”."

This was the topic of my management course today and honestly I couldn't help but to think into it a little bit.
People always think of making a person "tick" as a bad thing almost like the saying  "pushing their buttons"
But in reality the tick or pushing of ones buttons if you actually think about it, for the most part always results in an outcome.
If there is no outcome then the lack of an outcome was coincidentally an outcome.  
An outcome of some kind is an action of some kind.
Therefore you Motivated them in one way or another to do, say, or act.
Now in which way you are motivated is up to you.

I think the knowledge and thought process of things like this are extremely important for a positive outlook on life.
If say, I am pushed to my limits in turn will that not motivate me to make my limit bigger, longer, better?
Motivation is key in productivity.

Set your goals and limits.
Let yourself and others motivate you to reach them.
Once you have reached them..
make bigger ones, making it more challenging for yourself and others to get you to your limit and/or breaking point.
If you aren't motivated to take action today.. when will you be?

<3 Be Peaceful

Too much time.

Life is never easy..
and there is too much time to make it harder for yourself.
If people could just leave things be it would probably make it less complicated.

and this is where being the bigger person comes in.

The way it works at CIA is that you stick with the same group for pretty much your whole program.
This gets complicated.
And this has been testing my bigger person abilities.

But I know that being able to keep my thoughts inside and walk this world with my chin held high will pay off in the end.

I don't want to make this life harder for myself..
I want to slide through and be happy go luck about life.

To help me.. My lovely boyfriend<3 I don't know what I'd do without him. 10.10.10

<3 Be Peaceful

My Druthers..

With new days comes new things...
I decided an overhaul of peace of cake was necessary since I am feeling like I am in a different place in my life..
I am in a happier part.
Don't get me wrong my bad days come...but then they go.
And that is the important thing to remember, a day is only 24 hours. It'll be a new one before you know it and 20 years from now I won't remember the crude remarks or the stress level of L block.
I will just look back and see those who where there for me and all the nights I stayed up until ungodly hours of the morning doing nothing.. absolutely nothing but having fun while I did it.

I came back to New York with intentions of second chances and I feel like I have done ok, but I know I should try harder.
Mind you there is always an exception.
And sometimes that exception leads to others and so on and so forth.
Before you know it you are back where you started.
So with this new face of Peace of Cake I will turn my cheek.
I will look at the good.
Forgive but never forget.
Because in the end every breath I spend discussing the failure of others is a breath I could have be expressing the love and fun in life.
Another breath I could have used to laugh instead.

I'm glad this overhaul has happened now because I know I am going to need this to keep peace of mind in the coming weeks.
But I will embrace it, showing fun no mercy.

A thoughtful quote today while I was in Rhinebeck exploring with lovely friends...

Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy. -Thich Nhat Hanh

If I had my druthers I'd be Peaceful anyway<3

The problem with food.

Actually the problem with having a food related degree...
When you graduate with said degree there are so many fields and areas of work you can go into not to mention the abundance of education paths you can continue on after.
Now it's time to decide which path I want to take....
How can I decide? I don't feel like I am old enough to make such an important decision.
But I can't just keep going to school for random degree..I am going to have to put them together into one career sooner or later.

HELP!

<3  Be Peaceful

Scrabbled.

I got a fridge today. It has a wrap and apple juice in it.
I'm playing scrabble with my boyfriend..over the phone. <3smart phone apps.
I got a lot of homework done and will continue on that path tomorrow.
Everythings ok.

-Be Peaceful

One Week Deep.

A week deep and I am already so stressed I want to cry.
I try talking to my loved ones for some support, some reassurance but it just frustrates me and makes me not want to talk anymore.
Being in a different state and having a horrendous class schedule is making my life so difficult.
Then I am expected to find a job to add onto it.
How can I work? The only time I get to myself is the weekends and even on the first week its going to be spent reading hundreds of pages of shit I don't care about.
I keep telling myself , if I can get through the next 8 months I will be fine.
But the truth of the matter is, I bit off more than I could chew.
I can't afford to go to the number one culinary school and I will be and am already in debt so deep, I'm not sure I will ever be able to get out of it.
Hearing people talk about paying off there student debt at the age of 40 makes me cringe.
I don't want to be that 40 year old with huge payments every month for an education most don't even think was worth the time.
And what happens if I get into the real world when this is all said and done and I don't even want to do this?
I feel like I am working so hard and in the end I am going to come up short.
Jobless, not knowing what I want to do in life, and in Debt. The perfect way to start a life of my own.
I just want to quit.

-Peaceful is hard when your in debt at 19.

Home sick Kick.

I think I just got hit in the face with homesick.
I suddenly got really sad.
Maybe talking to my mom and then talking to Alan right after did the trick.
I really miss being home, not to mention home with Alan.
ugh =/
And I pretty much failed at packing which in turn is costing me money.. lots of money.


I guess on the good side is that classes seem really cool.
My teachers are cool and the work seems pretty easy.
I have Restaurant Law, Nutrition, Costing, Intro to Management, and Menu Development.
All of which include a million projects but luckily they are mostly group so it won't be as much work.
Also I have my darling Cameron next to me.
Hopefully all goes well as I am planning.

As far as New York goes.. Its freakin cold already and its been raining to make it even colder.
Can't I just get a couple weeks of semi warm before it turns into the freakin Arctic.
Ugh..

<3 Be Peaceful

VA or Bust!

I am leaving tomorrow to head up north as I am moving into my dorm on Monday.
On my way to NY I am stopping in VA to see my lovely sister, brother in law, and their two kids.
This is VERY exciting. I haven't seen them in a long time and probably wont see them for awhile after this trip.
This is also bitter sweet because I am leaving home..again..
You'd think I'd be use to it by now... I'm not.
Oh well.. I will be home again in December and my lovely, amazing, handsome boyfriend will be too. =)
That fact I am thrilled about.


<3 Be Peaceful

Repo

It's nice when you get that feeling of overwhelming gratefulness.
I am grateful for a lot of people in my life... the good, the bad, and the ugly.
Every person makes an impact on your life one way or another.

Currently I am grateful for my darling boyfriend.
He puts up with all my crazy antics even when he lives in a different state.
Sometimes it is hard, for both of us I know but those are the times when you become grateful.
I am grateful to have him in my life and would put up with an immense amount of nonsense to keep him there.

I think in life it is hard to see how great you really have it when you are in it.
But in reality you most likely have it better than most and people are dying to be where you are.

I just want to say.. let people know that you are grateful to have them around.
You may think so but.. they don't always know.
And even if they do it is a nice thing to hear every now and then.

<3Be grateful, Be peaceful, and live on

An Interest.

I haven't been in the best place the last couple days and I know I am not alone.
One of my closest friends has been on the same page with me.
I think the troubles we are having is that we take such an interest while others don't.
It's giving 110% and only getting back 50%.
It's missing someone terribly and only being a random tiny thought in the back of their head.

It is a really hard concept to grasp.
The fact that someone may or may not care about you or something or about anything as much as you do.
I sometimes think that we should let go. I believe that if we care our love will pay off.
Someday someone will realize how much we actually care and they will acknowledge it, maybe even return it.

I guess one can only hope.
Positivity.

<3 Be Peaceful

Ode to Russ.

I really need to step up my blogging.. or so I have been told.
 This blog has nothing to do with Russell btw.

Lately I have not been baking... at all.
Not really surprising since I'm not working anymore. 
maybe it's good to take a break since I am going to be baking daily for the next 9 months.
I feel like I am having a baby..made of bread and cake.. when I say that.
BUT I'M NOT! I will come out with an ASSOCIATES!
Lately I have realized I can make a damn good sandwich!
also have been making many! haha
and so maybe I am destined to work at subway.
Oh and I make a bangin Tuna Melt.

I made scones the other day (my favorite pastry)
and frankly they sucked.
I haven't made them in over a year but still annoying to me.
Scones, scones, scones... can't live with them and DEFF can't live without them.

Anyway..
it's been taking some getting used to living in my parents house again. I'm used to people being around but family its different.
I got used to coming and going as I please, making myself food, and entertaining myself.
Makes me wonder what will happen next April.
Maybe get a good job and get in school then I can look into going out on my own.
And so I suppose I should SOAK it UP! while I'm here.
speaking of soaking up.. I am soaking up all the Florida Friend time I can get...(ok so I guess Russell is included here)
I like my Florida friends. maybe the most... or just because I have known them the longest.

Although I am excited to go back to NY.
Wear my new boots and see Cameron Talotta!


Time to Party.

<3 Be Peaceful

haven't posted in awhile.

Life has been going on even though I haven't been posting.

I finished my extern which I am SUPER STOAKED about.
I feel one step closer to my associates degree.
I had fun while I was in Orlando and made some great friends.

Now I am off for a whole month and have no idea how I will productively spend it.
I and going to try not to sleep it away.
and a tan is high priority.

Excitement is building for going back to NY.
I can't wait to see all my friends up there and start a new year.
I think sophomore year is going to be wayyyy better.

anyway.. Stumbleupon is calling me.

<3 Be peaceful.

It's FRIDAY!

I can't believe that is FRIDAY!
I am superrrr excited to go home after work tomorrow and start a five day vacation of amazing.
I also can't believe that it is the 22nd day of July already.
Didn't this month just start? Where has the time gone?
Before I know it I will be home for a month and then back to New York I go.
Such a weird thing to be saying and feeling.

Also.. I am supposed to be getting a new roommate Saturday which means I will already be home and will not meet the person moving into my room until 5 days after she moves in..
I am very uneasy about this.
but nothing I can do about it... life must go on.

Last topic of the day..
Karma.
I know maybe it's not the nicest thing to say and feel but..
Some people deserve the karma that comes their way.
But really it's not even that I want karma to go back on this certain person but more that it is sad that they have something they don't deserve.
Something I would kill to have and I personally think I do deserve but can't currently have.
How could you be so selfish? disrespectful? and frankly.. DISGUSTING.
UGH!
I have the urge to tell this person how horrible they are to their face but..
they are not worth my time or breath.
and I am grateful for being aware of that fact.

<3Be Peaceful
10.10.10<3

Magical.

Today I went to Hollywood stuidos for the first time..
I know it's bad, I have been here for 4 months and am just now getting around to going but..
I have been working my butt off and to be honest the last thing I want to do is go out and stand in line in the hot Florida sun.

Anyways, I had a lot of fun, got my first time pin.
Then after I got to go get my graduation packet and graduation ears since I am leaving the program soon.
It made it feel more real then ever that I have almost completed my extern..
Feels like only a few weeks ago I started at CIA and I felt like extern was years away.
Well, I am proud of myself and why shouldn't I be!

Now if I could only finish this extern manual.. only one assignment left.. the thank you letter and for some reason I just can't put pen to paper and get it over with..
I am a pretty good BS writer and can usually make stuff up until I come up with a whole page but I just can't do it this time.. =/

I am on the count down not only to have a month off and chill but also to have a mini vacation this coming weekend. I could not be more stoked. =DDDD
and I have to admit.. I am a little excited to return to the cold state of New York.
I miss the people.

Thats all.. Check for more Disney pictures on the FB.

<3 Be Peaceful.

10.10.10My love.

small..big...bigger..

Anything ever start small.
Or with the idea of small...
and turn big?
Ugh... BIG.
and you know what.. dreams small or big to start.. can get bigger and bigger or maybe smaller.
Regardless they are expensive and over baring and stressful and heart breaking.


<3 Be Peaceful

push and tug

i feel like sometimes its so easy
and other times i just cant figure out why its so hard.
like i cant reach you.
you are somewhere else
and i am nothing in the distant world you are submerged in
i feel like it will be worth it.
fight for the one you want and what you want and it will pay off but..
maybe it would pay off just to take the easy route
the route that just sits and waits

what am i supposed to do? i need answers
where are you?

goodbye. hello.

Good Bye Lori Anderson.
You have been a really good roommate for the last couple months and I will miss you dearly.

This day is bitter sweet. I am sad to see my roommate go and I am really not looking forward to the possibility of a new roommate taking her spot in my room but..

It is the being to the end.
I cannot believe that it is already a week into July and that in just over a month I will be home in Englewood with a month to do as I please.
Then back to the cold of New York but also back to good people.

Overall everything is alright.. I am just ready to be able to check Externship of my check list and move onto the next tasks.

<3 Be Peaceful

indecisive.

I feel like that kid who has no idea what path they want to take.
No idea what I want to do for the rest of my life, for my career.
I have interest in many things but does that mean I should do it for a living?
Probably not.
Why am I so confused with life?
I wish one thing would come so easily and naturally to me that it would be an obvious decision.
I love baking but so do million of other people.. doesn't mean they should make a career of it.
And not wanting to plate desserts in a slave shop for the rest of my life or a great part of it really cuts into the opportunities.
But maybe baking is what I should be doing.
Or maybe I should be doing math.
Or maybe I should be a normal person and be like a waitress or something.
Why so hard.

<3 Be Peaceful 

Life is Life no matter which way you live it.

My Parents came to Orlando this weekend.
It was nice to have some unconditional love.
I miss having them around more but
I know this is part of growing up and it is helping me figure out who I am when I stand alone.
In Orlando I have been doing alright
not everything is perfect but with 46 more days I can't really complain.
I have been getting more days off and things have been going alright.
I am ready to have a break from work and school and I'm ready to see my friends in New York.
Overall I am trying to be positive.
Trying to get out of the apartment a little more
and trying to read more because I realized it for some reason is extremely relaxing to me.

Besides all of this..
I need to get some stuff together in life.
Figure out what is coming next because it is approaching fast.

10.10.10<3
<3 Be Peaceful

Pay me no mind.

All I feel lately is numb.
There are some things you need in life. Not a want but a need.
Some of the needs can fall by the way side for a while but sooner or later...
It's bound to catch up.

In real life I do a lot of things on my own.
And I don't mind being alone.
I have never been an attention seeker and I don't think that will change about me but..
Attention is a necessity in some outlets.
Without it the outlet is non existent.. if that makes sense.

What I am trying to say is.. I don't have time for this childhood nonsense.
Step up your game.

<3 Be Peaceful and never be number 2

ups and downs

I haven't blogged in a while.. I guess I just haven't had much to say or the energy to say it.

I like living in Orlando but I don't have the worlds best job in my opinion.
I believe Disney has more to offer than what I have been given and for that I am truly disappointed.
What I am not disappointed about is the people I have met and the things I have learned.
I can't say I have learned much Baking wise as I do pretty much the same thing everyday at work but..

What I have learned is.. what I do not want to do to make a living, how to be a good worker especially compared to others, the more questions you ask the more information you may or may not get, and that if you bonded once..you might bond again.

I am grateful to have encountered people such as my prep chef at work because she is truly a pastry chef and has been nothing but insightful since I met her. I am also grateful to live with 5 other girls and be able to say BEEN THERE.. DONE THAT.. bought that shirt and don't wanna do it again!

Although I am grateful for what Disney and Orlando has offered me..
I have found myself missing New York and the little that Hyde Park has to offer.
Now don't get me wrong.. I don't miss the snow or cold.
But I do miss the people.. the things to do.. the simple life.. and meals being made for me =)

For now I am looking ahead for the next 65 days to fly by and to have a month of vacation in my own bed.
Hopefully sometime in between all this mess I will get to spend time with my Boyfriend.
ugh.

<3 Be Peaceful cause nothing else will do.

I think this is how love goes.. check yes or no.

=)
Tomorrow is Wednesday and obviously after that comes Thursday and then.. I get some time to go home.
I can't wait.. I have been looking forward to it for awhile.
Although it doesn't seem like it's going to be the perfect trip home.. it will be nice.
Obviously Alan will be missing which I guess I can unfortunately say I am getting used to.
I wish it wasn't that way but I guess that is the next natural step in this situation.
Learning to get along with life when you can't be with the people you love.
I keep hoping he will show up but.. so much disappointment makes getting my hopes up more difficult than usual.
I jsut wish everyday to see him soon.

Other than the upcoming vacation, This extern is flying by..and I am ready for it to be over with.
I want to get into my second year and finish at CIA.
Have a degree already and say I'm worth something.

ugh life.

<3 Be Peaceful.

10.10.10<3

hmm..

Even though I have been working my butt off here at disney I am happy that I am making some money again finally.
Also its nice to hear from my bosses that I am doing a good job. That makes my bad days a little brighter.
Other than work I am ahead of schedule on my modules and would like to keep it that way.. keep my self stress free.
Today I have the day off then I have to work 11 days straight which sucks but that leads straight into me going home for a few days. Which I am really excited and happy about. Even though one thing is obviously going to be missing. He is in my heart and knows I will be thinking of him the whole time.
Speaking of missing today I actually missed New York for just a few seconds. It was weird but I know I will no longer miss it once I get back there lol.
I am itching to go and get this schooling over though so I can move on.

Never the less.. life is going pretty okay.

<3 Be Peaceful.

10.10.10<3

private.

I am me.
and I am happy even when I'm not.
I am happy even when I'm not smiling..
that just the way I am.
In public and in private.
please stop telling me to smilee

<3 Be Peaceful

10.10.10

i dont remember you looking any better then again i dont remember you

depressing to say the least.
im not sure how to keep my emotions in check anymore.
i feel like life can only get like sixty percent good anymore because such important things are missing from my life
i wish i could explain how i feel but no one understands
im tired.
tired of a lot of things.
including sleeping in this bed..especially alone.

be peaceful.
ten.ten.ten.

Two firsts in a row.

Yesterday I completed my first Dessert bar shift by myself and tonight I completed my first PM Bread shift.
And overall I have to say it was not an epic fail.
I felt confident leaving my dessert bar shift because one of my kind co-workers acknowledged how well I did.
and even tho I made a mistake during my bread shift I think I did an alright job.
Tomorrow is day two of training on bread shift. I hope they don't put me on that shift alone anytime soon.
I cant believe the weeks are flyinggggg by. This extern will be over in NO time.
Tomorrow is my Friday and I cannot wait to finally have two days off in a row.
Its the good life.

Also.. I love my boyfriend.. per usual ;)

<3 Be Peaceful.

Dessert Bar.

Today at work was.. probably the best day so far.
I enjoyed what I was doing and even though we were slow the day flew by.
And luckily for me flew right into my mom and dad coming to Orlando to visit me for a few hours.
It was a nice day over all.
And it was nice to have some much needed conversation that will hopefully continue.
I am happy to say I will continue on the dessert bar tomorrow and hopefully be able to do a majority of it by myself.
Then per usual return home to my darling roommate Lori's face.
Life is looking okay right now.
I cannot believe I am already in my 5th week of externship.  
Next will come week 10 in a blink of an eye an then I will be done and on the brink of having an associates degree.
I am ready for new things to come and ready to do some new and challenging things.
=)


<3 Be Peaceful.
10.10.10<3

Square root of 1 = SUCKS.

Sometimes I feel like no matter how far I get or how hard I am working..
I always end up back at square one.
I achieve goals but then its like I get there and it turns into another dark hole and I may or may not be able to see a light.
It's frustrating.
I try to be optimistic but I am tired.
I need support.

What I need I can't have.

<3 Be Peaceful.

knowledge

I spoke to a very knowledgeable gentlemen recently and he told me something I always knew but didn't know how to put it into words.
Some people are dating.
Some people are IN dating.
and some people are IN a relationship.
All three of these are very different things.
I am IN a relationship. I am faithful, In love, and have no interest in anyone besides my boyfriend.
When people are dating they are not yet in love maybe lust. They date maybe multiple people.
People IN dating think they are in a relationship but they aren't. and may be doing the same things as people who are dating.

And it's annoying to me that people think they are IN a relationship but are really IN dating.
I work hard to be IN a relationship when others pretend they do.

people don't realize the truth. I am glad I finally understand.

<3 Be peaceful

10.10.10<3

Short and sweet.

I need scholarships.
Feel free to do some research or hook me up =)

A place.

Everyone has a place, everyone crosses your path for some reason or another.
Some are meant to stay and others just fly in to teach a lesson or leave an imprint or maybe not make a mark at all.
I feel like some stay and some fade.
I know he was meant to stay.
10.10.10 <3 you make me so happy.

<3 Be Peaceful

sick and alone.w

i feel  like its just me in this world. no one else cares or stands a place in my life anoymore. no one stands out for making an effort to be in my life.
i think i could go weeks and no one would even realize they hadnt talked to me.
the people who do go out of their way seems to always be looking for the worst.
expecting me to tell them my life is horrible just so they will feel better about them selves
well i guess ill figure it out on my own because you people dont matter to me if i dont matter to you.

Tomorrow.

Is my last four am shift for awhile =D

I couldn't be more thrilled!

Sleeping for two more hours sounds like a plan to me!

Also.. I would just like to say that although I am stressed and not everything is working out as I planned.. I am happy in Orlando.

The weather is nice, I have a cool roommate, I am working and making money again..thank gosh..maybe I can feel like a normal human again soon, and I am surrounded with people that love me.

Although I can't wait for August to come because I know it will bring time off, be almost the beginning of the end of school, and bring lots of new opportunity,.. maybe..just maybe.. 

I will live today.

<3 Be Peaceful

10.10.10<3

The good things and the better things.

There are the good things in life and there are the better things in life.
I am at the good stage.
I want to be at the better stage.
It's always a waiting game ya know?

Anyway.. Today I shadowed at the cafe in my resort.. it wasn't that much fun..good thing its not my job lol.
I start my real job Weds. I am kinda nervous but.. I think I am more nervous about the hours then the actual task at hand.
I have to be at work and ready at 4am... UGH! who even functions at that time.. guess I better get used to it.
My plan.. Stay up late tonight.. sleep all day tomorrow.. Go to work.. come home and SLEEPPPP! repeat..
cuz guess why.. I HAVE TO DO IT WED, THUR, FRI, SAT!
WHAAAA(cries like a baby) I hope this isn't my schedule forever..
can we rotate already?

<3 Be Peaceful.

p.s. I love my boyfriend<3 10.10.10

wow..havent posted in awhile.
today is a good day to start again though.. im all moved in down here in orlando and i have to say im liking it more than expected but.. i havent worked yet so we will see how it goes on wed.
anyway i have five roommates and the one in my room named lori is amazing. she is rly cool to chill with and i couldnt have asked for a better roommate.
also its a good day because in fifteen minutes it will be me and my loves six month anniversary. which i am extremely excited about even tho i will not be able to spend it with him he is always in my heart and on my mind and i cant wait until we are together again.
lastly i will end my blog with..could i possibly get sick any more this year? ugh.

more later
be peaceful

thats just the way it is.

as i sit in this nearly empty room with music blaring and a friendly game of pong in full rage i cant help but think of how it used to be and i think of how it is now
i used to think life was so hard and there was nothing i really cared about.
now i feel like i have a reason to be happy and realize life..has gotten harder
i feel like the people around me arent seeing clearly
their vision is blurry, the vision of what life is for them is all wrong
maybe im not living correctly but i am living it right for the moment
i want to shake some people and show them how disappointing they look living the way they live. what they do is not living the life its life thrown down the drain but... i wont ever tell them.. ill just keep it to myself and think.. thatsjust the way it is.

There is life.. then there is life with you.

The day went by to quickly.
I'm alone again.. but I know it will be ok.
It was worth all of it.. spending a few hours is more than I could have asked for.
In fact.. it will always be worth it to me.
Something I am extremely happy to have realized..
In my mind.. we are better than we have ever been.
Life may not be normal but, I love every minute of life I spend with you and I am happy.
I can't wait until I see you next.
I love you 10.10.10<3

<3 Be Peaceful.

oh really?

This weekend is going to be amazingggg!
Metro passes will take us where ever our hearts desire.
I am soooo excited to go around the city with my mom.

As for the week which will start tomorrow(Tues) since we had today off for a self study day.
I have a lot to do tomorrow and then finishing to do Wednesday.
Over all though I think our finished product will show our hard work.
Then Thursday I will be in class all dayyyy but it will be okay because I will be looking forward to going to pick up mi madre after class from the airport.
Finally friday I will wake up early and get out early and I will be done.
The weekend will start. =D

Ugh... I want wait.
The next 2 weeks are gunna be good.

<3 Be Peaceful

The reasons why,..

Facebook and telephone calls are not the same:
I cannot see you.
Your voice doesn't sound the same.
I can't touch you
Pictures don't do you justice.
"<3" does not take place for saying I love you out loud.
I get sick of saying the same things over and over because you already know I miss you but I have to say it anyway.
In mid conversation you have to leave or one or the others phone freaks out.
There is never just You and I time.

Why do they have to make our lives so difficult.

</3 Be Peaceful

=l

Annoying.

You know what?

I am having fun.
And I am ready to go home.


<3 Be Peaceful

Hump day,

All of my 6 papers are finished. Just have to finish my business plan and I am on the home stretch of finishing this class.
Tomorrow(actually today because its 2:30 am) is my last externship meeting which I am stoked about.
I am also excited that everyone is packing and talking about packing and we are leavingggg!
I feel like even though I am annoyed with a lot of people in my group because we have been together so long.. I also feel like some things are getting smoother.
For that I am thankful to say the least. Not to say that I needed it to smooth out or was wanting it too because I felt fine about it but it just kinda happened or is happening and it takes a weight off my shoulders.
I started out this journey telling myself to stick by what I believe but be the bigger person but in the end I think that what I actually ended up learning was that things are worth fighting for but only to a certain extent.
Sometimes its just not worth making a big deal about and I see that point of view.
I guess you can't hold a grudge forever.
I hope this break helps and next year works out better since I am more knowledgeable.

As I read this blog back to myself.. it's confusing but.. I guess it makes sense to what I am thinking about and probably for who and what its about.

8 days till Madre gets here and 10 days until I leave =)

<3 Be Peaceful

Productivity.

First of all.. YAY for getting a "B" in cakes class.
Secondly.. I have 6- single spaced one page papers and a 10-12 page business plan due next Tue.
Proudly though I have knocked out 4 of those papers in the last 4 hours. I'll save the rest for later considering its almost 3 am. and I have about 70% of my business plan done.
The goal.. Finish it all by Thursday night so I can have a long weekend of nothing to do.
Considering this will be my last weekend here until next September.. need to live it up ya know?
Time to sleep.
Wish my luck on all this homework!

<3 Be Peaceful.

The countdown.

is on.
In less than 13 days I will be leaving NY!
I talked to my dad today about the route home and what not which just made it feel even closer than ever.
I have packed a lot of my stuff and pre cleaned the room today so I have less work to do while my mom is here.
I am ready to take all this crap to storage but I know I am not at that stage yet. That will come next week.
Hopefully this week goes as fast as last week did.
Is time to go!

Other things...
I am pretty much just thinking a lot about what is gunna happen next year and what the right steps are for me to take.
I feel like I am stuck between making others happy and what I know is best for me.
I think this time.. I'm gunna do me.

<3 Be Peaceful

p.s. <3 my boyfriendddddddddddddddddddddddd

15 days.

Till I leave this place.


Had an okay day in class I guess.. a lot of tension I felt like but everything came out okay.
I feel like people are just getting along to get through the days.
Why waste energy fighting.. let it ride for two more weeks.

Other then that.. I have started packing..
my drawers are getting emptier and the walls are loosing their "flare" lol
I can't wait for this class to be over and for my mommy to come =)


lastly.. today was 5 months for me and my bf =)
its a short amount of time but.. when you've been waiting this long and haven't seen this person for such a long time.. 5 months means a lot.


New day tomorrow... all we can do is look forward.


<3 Be Peaceful

its going to be okay.

i get told this constantly.
and really.. i tell myself it constantly too.
but guess what.
you have no idea.
you dont know if it is going to turn out okay.
or if i will die from this.
you dont know what the hell this feels like.
so dont say it is gunna be ok.
speak to me like i am a damn human.
god i cant freakin do this any more.

Derby girl?

New found interest.
Roller Derby.
Is there any better way to get out aggression, work out and meet new people?
Maybe nottt
It might just be one of the coolest sports out there.
and I am gunna try it out.
just gotta find some skates
Anyone who would like to help fund this adventure is more than welcome.


Other news = 19 days until I go back to FL
It's starting to feel real.. I went and set up my storage unit today.. I can't believe its so close.
Feel like just yesterday I was moving into Angell and meeting my roommates.. but I guess in someways it feels like so long ago as well.
I am excited to get back to FL spend some time with everyone I love and have missed
and then get my butt to Orlando and start working.
I am excited to work again.. I feel unproductive not working even though I know getting my degree is productive.. the sitting around all the time makes it feel like I'm not doing anything.
Also in Orlando is a roller derby team =D

Lastly. I would like to celebrate again the fact that I passed my practical. It's such a relief and weight of my shoulders.
I did however cut myself pretty bad on the 2nd day though.
No time to go to the nurses office.. 3 bandaids on top of each other and back to work.... professionalism at its best.

Have a lovely evening.

<3 Be Peaceful

I wish..

Planet wings delivered to CIA.
I just want some hot wings.
I deserve them I was productive today.

ughhh

<3 Be Peaceful

winner, winner, chicken dinner.

I got a 89.5 on my practical. =D
I am veryy happy about this. and very happy I have a four day weekend.
And I love my boyfriend.

Ready.

I kicked some practical but today if I do say so myself.
I am happy with my product so far so I just have to go in tomorrow and finish strong.
Bring it all together to make 3 awesome products.. that's the plan anyway.
Then I will be on the home stretch. A three day weekend heading into the last block before extern.
I am sooooo excited, like can't even describe it excited for my Mom to fly up and drive back with me.
and sooo excited to be home in general! =D
I AM READYYYY!

<3 Be Peaceful

p.s. I will continue to kick practical ass tomorrow.. I will update with my grade.. unless I fail.. then I will update with tears and sobbing.

This, is the real deal.

Today was a good day despite so attitudes flying.
I got pretty good news from my love and had some good stuff going on myself.
Tomorrow is day one of my 2nd term practical and I feel like I am as ready as I will ever be.
It is now only 24 days until I get home and I am already making plans for when I'm home in Florida.
I want to tan in Florida soooo badly!

I don't really have much to blog about besides.. I am happy so you should be as well.
and I love my boyfriend. =D

<3 Be Peaceful and wish me luck!
I will update when I get home.

Some thing from someone unknown who was not I.. good wisdom though

Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they were meant to be there, to serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson, or to help you figure out who you are or who you want to become. You never know who these people may be (possibly your roommate, neighbor, co-worker, longest friend, lover, or even a complete stranger) but when you lock eyes with them, you know at that very moment that they will affect your life in some profound way.

Some people come into our lives and quickly go.
Some people move our souls to dance.
They awaken us to new understanding with the passing whisper of their wisdom.
Some people make the sky more beautiful to gaze upon.
They stay in our lives for awhile, leave footprints in our hearts,
and We are never, ever the same. 

And sometimes things happen to you that may seem horrible, painful, and unfair at first, but in reflection you find that without overcoming those obstacles you would have never realized your potential, strength, willpower, or heart. Everything happens for a reason, nothing happens by chance or by means of luck. Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness, and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of your soul. Without these small tests, whatever they may be, life would be like a smoothly paved, straight flat road to nowhere. It would be safe and comfortable, but dull and utterly pointless. The people you meet who affect your life, and the success and downfalls you experience help to create who you become.

Even the bad experiences can be learned from. In fact, they are probably the most poignant and important ones.

If someone hurts you, betrays you, or breaks your heart, forgive them, for they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious when you open your heart. If someone loves you, love them back unconditionally, not only because they love you, but because in a way, they are teaching you to love and how to open your heart and eyes to things.

Make every day count!! Appreciate every moment and take from those moments everything that you possibly can for you may never be able to experience it again. Talk to people that you have never talked to before, and actually listen. Let yourself fall in love, break free, and set your sights high. Hold your head up because you have every right to. Tell yourself you are a great individual and believe in yourself, for if you don't believe in yourself; it will be hard for others to believe in you.

You can make of your life anything you wish. Create your own life then go out and live it with absolutely no regrets.

 -By.. Unknown

If I played a song on the jukebox

would you dance with me in the middle of waffle house?
I miss my boyfriend and my mom and my house and my bed and the beach.
I will have most of it soon but not for long and not my boyfriend unfortunately.
He made me smile today though.. not that it's unusual for him to do that, he always does but it was a reassuring happy today that made me smile.
I think deep in my heart( I know that weird) that we will be happily ever after some day. =)
Other things, I am trying to be happy about other things but stuff is stressing me out which sucks
I really need to get to Florida and start my job, I know that will help me feel better.
after my practical this week I know things will calm down as well, and even though I have to start packing again which should be stressful I think it will be relaxing.

That's all for now

<3 Be peaceful

Blog about nothin...

I did nothing today...
I suppose I was productive by apply for a couple scholarships- I use the word couple in the real sense of the word as that's about the amount I could find that I am eligible for.
Which let me just say this... I never go in trouble during school, my folks are not wealthy, my dad was in the marines, I am a first generation college student, I never had lower than a 3.5 GPA during high school, I worked my ass off to take my senior classes online, finished my culinary certificate along with graduated in the top 30% of my class, competed all the way to the national level for skills USA along with being the skills vice president, was in the national technical honor society, volunteered, and worked.
Why in the worlddddddddddd am I not eligible for some freakin scholarships? Is it just me or is that unfair? What more do you want from me?

anyways now that I got that rant of my chest..
I have like 27 days left here.. and cannot wait to go.. I need a job and money.. I am sick of being a poor college student..
I ate a peanut butter and jelly for breakfast and Ramen and a peanut butter and jelly for late lunch.. also some imitation Reese's puff in between.. with no milk.  Gotta love it.

lastly... Why can't teachers post their grades in a timely matter? it has been two weeks since I left my last class and grades are still not up I am almost finished with another block.. If I go into a 2nd block before that grade is put up I am gunna be upset. I understand teachers have so much more to do but.. honestly you teach one class a day most of the time maybe two but still.. we as students depend on that grade.

I am burnt out. I need a mental break. a CIA break. A cold weather break.

serious lastly... Why is there only orange juice in my fridge?? I don't even like orange juice that much.. and I could have sworn I left more than just orange juice in there.. guess that's what happens when you don't live alone.. nothing is ever how you left it is it?

<3 Be Peaceful even if I'm not.

Stress is filling my head.

I AM STRESSED PEOPLE!
I am broke and have crap to pay for.
I have mock practical this week and real practical next week. BAM double stress.
I need to do so many things in so little time with so little motivation.
I really need to take some of my own advice.. "I know it's a pain in the ass but it will be worth it."
ugh!
luckily only 4 weeks left of school and only one of those weeks is 5 days long.
That my friends is something to look forward to.
I am also looking forward to my mom coming up and driving back down. I miss her.
In the mean time and in between time.. I gotta get motivated and get the shit outta this place!
Full sails ahead.

<3 Be Peaceful

p.s. in update of my last blog... I still feel like I am being punished, just trying to turn the lemons into vodka or bud light.

p.s.s how many blogs do you think I can post before I accidentally name one the same as a previous?

why is this happening to meeeeeeeeeee?!

I just needed one more week.
one more is all I wanted, just help me get through this practical and I will be ok.
but no.
I honestly feel like I'm being punished
Why now???????
why does this have to happen to me.
can't I catch just one break?

Withdraw.

While talking to my Mother today she told me she was having withdraw from not being able to read new blogs..
As I ALWAYS listen to my Mother.. here I am.
Tomorrow and Friday I will be doing a mock practical in preparation or my actually 2nd term practical the following Thursday and Friday... then on to a new block.
I cannot believe I am already half way through this block seems like it is going extremely quick.
and the count down will soon be in the 20's.
Other news is.. well.. not much.
The lovely boyfriend got phone privileges so that has been the base of my entertainment the last few days.
It is supposed to rain tomorrow and Friday.. hopefully it will melt all of the dirty ugly snow.
I have been happier lately.. feeling more like myself.
Johnny law is looming over my head like a black cloud though.

Cant wait to start packing for extern! =D

<3 Be Peaceful

ugh

I hate feeling like I have to lie.
Have to lie about how I feel to keep myself a float.
I don't want to deal with what would happen if I told the truth.

I'm frustrated.

<3 Be peaceful

These are the days I'll never forget...

I am blogging from the floor of my hotel room in Columbus, GA.
With me are Tyler and my love.
and honestly I couldn't ask for anything more.
Even on our worst days, when I am deathly sick or he is vomming , I am still happier than any other time and it's all I want.
The feeling of loving someone and being loved back and being welcomed into that persons family is such an amazing feeling.
This feeling makes everything worth it, the loneliness, the no communication, the distance is nothing compared the the feeling I get in the pit of my stomach every time he smiles at me.
How did I get so lucky?
I am happy. =) nothing else matters


<3 Be Peaceful

Already?

Already over half way through February, could it be?
Could it be only 2.5 weeks until my Practical?
and only 5.5 until I go on extern?
These months are flying by and in retrospect the whole time I have been here has even though there are days that seem like they will never end.
The count down is now a mere 38 days.. I remember posting that I couldn't say the number because it was too many. =)
I am preparing and ready for the steps ahead of me.
Just wish I could share it..
But I will see him soon.. if only for a few hrs or days.. it is better than nothing.
10.10.10<3


<3 Be Peaceful and joyous

Happy Valentines Day.

Alone yet again on Valentines... Story of my life? pretty much.

But anyway had my first day of class with Chef Dieter Schorner.

He is really cool and I like the class so far..it's just a little slow going for me.

I wish I could just go in, put my head down, and get my work done.

The days go by so slowly when its demo and lecture after demo and lecture.

Don't get me wrong I like listening to the chefs and learning new things but sometimes I just want to get the work done.

Oh well.. I feel like these three weeks are going to flyyyyy by and before I know it I will be in individual pastries.

And I'm ready for the weekend adventure ahead of me.

Have a good Valentines day =D

<3 Be Peaceful

Organization.

I know personally in my life organization plays a big role. Then again maybe I'm a clean freak.

I like for everything to have its place, little clutter, and for it to be clean.

In my own room this is easy.. I put something some where and it stays there until I move it.

If I make a mess it either stays messy and is my own fault or I clean it.

and when I clean.. I CLEANN.

adjusting to these differences while living with two other people has been difficult for me I think.

and it made me realize these things about myself because prior I had no idea how much things being put away meant to me or how much the lack there of bothered me for that matter.(I blame a lot of this on my mother)

I guess I also think in this way because to me messy, un-organized, unclean, and cluttered reflects laziness or lack of care to me and I do not want to reflect any of that.

I just feel as though if the things around me, my belongs and so forth, are organized then I personally will be organized and a clutter free area will result in a clutter free mind.

and in turn a clutter free organized mind will result in success.

I wish I could build a wall so I don't have to stare at the mess with the urge to clean it.

Oh well..

<3 Be Peaceful.. and Organized.

Well, well, well...

Today began with a broken $100.00 straightener and coffee on my car windshield.
and ya know.. I was a little upset but then..
I realized that is what they want, they want me to crack
and I'm not going to.
But do not think for one second I will forget.
For everything you do you must remember there are repercussions.


Tomorrow is gunna be fabulous hangin out with two of my favorite people gettin dank food and shoppin for cheap.
You can't lose.

Friday will be the kicker.

Happy regardless of the middle school behavior surrounding me.

<3 Be Peaceful

get my foot in the door

Did pretty okay on my cookie practical today.. could have done better but I am happy..
Hopefully I will crank out these tarts tomorrow and get some better scores.
I got some good news today.. I might be able to observe a food stylist that is coming to style here at the CIA which would be super cool and then I could pick her brain and stuff.
Things are looking bright.. I'm gunna ride this wave all the way into March and out of Hyde Park.

<3 Be Peaceful

p.s. Happy Feburary 10th =D
Its a wonderful day to celebrate!

It will be time well spent.

The block is coming to a closing.. Tomorrow I have my cookie practical with my tart practical on the following day.
Monday I will start Basic and Classical cakes which is when I will have my 2nd term practical the "big deal" practical.
Which will make me only one class away from extern? oh my!
In between then and now, I will go on a adventure which I am extremely excited about.
and I feel like it was my grown up decision to make which feels good and I am glad my mother agreed with my decision{or is pretending to  ;)  }
ugh.. light at the end of the tunnel? I think so.

<3 Be Peaceful

The "what if's" getcha everytime.

I let my mind wander just a little to much sometimes.
and then I think about all the possibilities that would turn everything to.. for lack of a better word... Shit.
I try to be optimistic but with so many plan crushing no's lately it gets hard.
I just want to be on the road to the happily ever after stage already.
I just wanna go see my boo.
This school blows.

<3 Be Peaceful

Here we are again..

HELLO!
Today was a good day and tomorrow is Friday so it can only get better right?
Today in class I made granola bars.. pretty cool
and my partner and I also made brownies and pecan diamonds which were pretty cool as well.
What actaully made my day today came as a surprise of sorts.. I was washing my hands at the sink and Chef came and stood next to me.. not unsaul, he does tend to creep some times.. just to watch what you're doing. As I finished up washing my hands he said to me.. It's a pleasure having you in class.
Obviously I thanked him and told him I enjoyed taking his class which I do a great deal. He followed this up with "are you being sarcastic" per his usual joking manner..
But never the less, I felt that I had gotten a little recognition and it made me feel like I have been doing a good job.
I was happy .=)
To continue the happiness Ally and I went bowling she won the first game I won the second.. our usual give and take. lol We had fun and hopefully we will do it again soon.
The weekend is almost here AGAIN! feels like just yesterday it was Friday.. the weeks have flown by since we got back from Christmas break... Optimistic it won't stopp.
Also optimistic some good things will fall into place in the next few days..

The glass is always half full and where ever there is a will there is a way!

<3 Be Peaceful.

p.s. Mom, if you're reading this which.. I know you are and you better be.. I miss you a lot. I can't wait for you to come to NY. <33 Love you-Pookie

Blog number 100: May the Bridges I burn light the way.

Couldn't have said it better or picked a better day to realize or picked a better blog to express it.

I have been thinking a lot about what I actually WANT to do not what I could or should do and I have realized that I think food styling is what I really want to do. I get to play with food, cook it, touch it, arrange it, make it beautiful and appetizing, and then get its picture taken. Make the beauty last forever.
Whats not to love? it's the best of all things I like.
So..Last night I contacted a few food stylist in Florida in hopes of picking their brains a little and maybe finding my self a mentor.
I don't think I have ever even considered having a mentor ever before but I feel like right now it's the best way to get to what I want.
So out of the two I contacted one of them responded and hopefully I will be able to talk to her on Friday to get some information.

Today I accidentally stumbled upon something I guess I have had inside myself the whole time I just forget to remember it if that makes sense.

I have worked hard to get here, there are so many who would kill to be in my position, I have struggled in my own unique ways and maybe it's not the greatest right now, maybe it doesn't make me the happiest where I am currently but.. It's gunna get me to where I want to be, to where I willll be happy. 

You never know how strong you are until your strength is tested.

I'm gunna finish this and strong. 

Hopefully everything I have been through will shine a light directly to where I want to be.

In the mean time to keep my energy level up, After class tomorrow Ally and I are going bowling =D

I am super excited.. hopefully we can get my car out of it's snowed in parking spot... poor Lola.

2 games, shoes, pizza, soda. $5.00 What a deal. I love good bargains.

See ya 100th blog.. it was nice knowin' ya.

<3 Be Peaceful.

Ain't no sunshine when he's gone

It's snowing and raining and the ground looks gross.
The worst part of snow it1) when it gets disgustingly dirty
2) when it melts into disgustingly dirty slosh
It travels up my dragging un-hemmed chef pants, which then touches my sock since my shoes have no backs which get my socks wet which is the most unbelievable gross feeling.
So here we are again.. Snow day number two of the year
Which is kind of a funny thing since I was told when I first got to the CIA that snow days were extremely few and far between and that this school never closed.
HAHA to who ever decided that because we are on number two snow day and we have had multiple days of getting out early due to weather.
Unfortunately because we do not have school tomorrow... yep you guessed it.. no three day weekend, now we have to make up the day on Monday... BUMMER!
Oh well... I will fill this fine day with a lot of staying inside and video games I hope.
I have lots of hopes lately....and ironically I hope my hopes turn into reality.
Maybe if I am feeling ambitious I will practice for my practical... maybe..

Happy 2nd day of February. This month is gunna go quick, I can feel it.

<3 Be Peaceful

naked.

On February first at 1:12 am I finished one of the best books I have ever read.
So informational, So direct and uncensored.
I might read it again.
 
Thank you Boo.

<3 Be Peaceful

LIKE OMG IT'S FEBRUARY !

finally freakin February. (< like what I did there with the F's) =D ahah
anyway! I am enthusiastic. This means I go home next month and my cupcake graduates super soon and my long board comes super soon and its just all good stuff!
Also I have been thinking a lot about my future which is exciting too.. but I shall not let it surpass the present and I am gunna try to have fun day to day in the mean time.

as just a blurb before I end this blog..
Even though I may not be the happiest in the current situations.. my life could be worse and I know this.
I try not to rub off on people... my complaining and hatred are purely my own venting and in no way ment for other people to take into considerations for their own lives. I still fully promote happiness!
sooooo.. BE HAPPY! or as happy as you cannn be. =)

<3 Be Peaceful

Blog blog blogggg

3:20 in the AM.. 

Just watched most of cool runnings..

Had dinner at Chili's for Ming's(a guy from my group) birthday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY MING!

Also did some shopping per usual with Ally this weekend.

Overall it was not very eventful but it wasn't the worst weekend of my life.

This coming week will mark 8 weeks until I am Home in Florida and today is 54 days.

I am happy to be in my second week of Cookies and Tarts but the stress is starting to build for next block and the 2nd term practical.

I need to start preparing.

I cannot believe my practical is already next block. In B-block I thought this day was years away.

Other things this week include... the arrival of my long board that Chelsie Collins so graciously purchased for me. I am super excited for this even tho there is snow every where and I can't ride it much.

I will ride it in the hall way like I do my scooter.

Also this coming Sunday Cameron(another guy from my group) and I will be making desserts for skills night which should be fun.

I am being optimistic this will be a good week.

Soon it will be the 18th and hopefully I will be able to talk to my boo. =)

<3 Be Peaceful

Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you..

There was a night.. I fell asleep watching you sleep
You looked so peaceful and your body was so warm.
Your breathing was heavy and your heart beat was steady.
I kept the light on so I could see you lay in peace
It felt like my head belonged on your chest, a puzzle piece fitting into its match.
It was that night I realized you are my soul mate.
I have loved you all along.
without you I am lost.


<3 Be Peaceful

A million tears I'll cry before the end.

I am so annoyed I honestly don't know what to do.
I didn't know people could be so immature and unprofessional.
If I have to do this everyday for the next year I will either drop out or punch myself in the head until I can't comprehend how annoying the people around me are.
I thought most people learned in middle school the proper and improper ways to act and to treat others. Apparently some people missed out on that lesson.

Please get me out of here.

FRIDAYYYYYYY

The end of the week again.. hard to believe January is almost over.
and it is now less than two months until I go on extern. Feels like yesterday I was in B-block dreading going to Gastronomy now I'm in H block making cookies everyday and piping chocolate for homework.
I have to say I quite enjoy it.
Another day down, another day closer to the sunny beach.
Other happenings are pretty much non existent.
I guess the simple life is okay for now.
As always just missing one thing.

<3 Be Peaceful

p.s. count down is at 57 today.

Well that was a buzz kill

I had a pretty good day over all.. a few bumps in the road but nothing major.
I am enjoying my new cookies class and enjoying being partners with Cameron
Although, I'm sure I am not going to want to look at another cookie for weeks afterward.
Today we made Black and White cookies and did the checkerboard and also made some short bread cookies.
Tomorrow it is soft macaroon time where my team will be making Green Tea flavored.
I wish we would have gotten vanilla but I will live and probably just steal other peoples who do have vanilla. =D
But towards the end of my class day the dreaded happened.
The thing I have been trying to avoid since October happened.
I missed a phone call.
actually not only one but THREE.
I know you're thinking in your head "so you missed a phone call, they will call back, no biggy"
but!
THIS WAS NOT JUST ANY PHONE CALL!
this was a phone call I cant return and phone call I needed to answer.
A phone call from My Boyfriend.

I suppose... I will just wait for the next one.. Who knows when that will be.
I'm bummed. I could have really used a loving phone call... to help get me through the stress and annoyance a little longer. =/

<3 Be Peaceful

Surrounded with good reads

I try to make it a point to read a good book or two every now and then 

it seems sometimes its reading time and sometimes its not

I could have an amazing book but just not be in the mood but once I get into a book I could go five books straight with out even realizing it.

I guess this is an ON moment.

Currently I am reading a book I so graciously received from my boyfriend and I am lovinggg it.

Also this weekend while shopping with Ally I came across a book titled How to Be a better Foodie

I started reading it and am completely fascinated. 

I couldn't be more content with my readings.

I also have many culinary books I need to settle down with but.. for now we will take it one at a time.. or currently two =)

Other things I would like to discuss is my realization of other people taking things for granted

It's fine if you want to be ungrateful and act as if you have the worst life but please try not to let it back fire on me will ya?

I know that I write as if I am down on life sometimes but such is life.. through all of this though I am THANKFUL for the life and opportunities I have. 

And I wish more people could see it that way.

I try to remember this daily and will try harder. Everyone should I think. Life is good even on it's worst day.

<3 Be Peaceful

p.s. Chelsea I MISS YOU TOO.

I'd rather be alone if I couldn't be with you.

The days are going by... not so quickly..
Maybe if I slept more the day would pass quicker.
Tomorrow should be a lovely day.. Ally and I are going to dinner with our friend Steve as a late Birthday celebration.

Anyways... I am bummed because I have been optimistic that it was possible for me to go see my darlings graduation from boot camp but...
Today the hope was lost. This in fact will not be happening.
I'm sad and disappointed but.. this is the real life right?
Life can't be simple or easy...and I cannot have what I want.
Unfortunately this means I have no idea when will be the next time I will see him but.. I guess I will just keep looking ahead to that day.

No class tomorrow... New class on Tuesday..

That's all I really have to write about today.

<3Be Peaceful

3,2,1. 1,2,3 what the heck is bothering me

Christine Capwell coined this saying and I swear she is what has been getting me through the days lately.
If I have not mentioned her.. She has been my partner for this block and I adore her
She is funny, intelligent, and caring. and without her I think I might have punched myself in the head every day this block or maybe just X-ed out.
I am thankful to have gotten to work with her.
Anyways, today this saying helped to calm me down a little.
I think I have been getting more and more frustrated with things because it has been building up for so long and I just can't hold it in anymore.
And  have been superrrr stressed
And the more stressed I am... The sicker I get.. Imagine that.

Ughhhh... I'm so over itttttttttttttttttttttttt
Can I graduate already?

<3 Be Peaceful

Learning the facts..

Today was a good day..
we are prepping for grand buffet in class
I don't think I have talked about grand buffet on here yet.. so basically it is a buffet that certain culinary and baking classes put on every 3rd Thursday of the block, the day before graduation.
There is a ton of really good and most of the time unusual food as well as amazing and delicious desserts and breads.
I learned early on when I got to this school that if you CAN attend.. You DO and you get there early and wait in line because you will for sure want to be one of the first in the dining hall to A)Grab a whole table for you and your friends and B) raid the dessert stations and get as much fatty food as possible... this includes multiple trips back and forth and the covering of an entire table with Bread and Butter plates full of desserts.
Only after you have gotten a portion of any dessert you may want to try then do you go and scope out the food selection. and you will have to cut in line, butt in front of others and jump in line with any friend or acquaintances you might see.
Over all it's pretty sweet and this block is the first block we actually get to contribute.
In breads class we did send down bread but this time we actually get to interact and be part of the buffet.
So I am pretty excited about Grand Buffet and then it will be Friday and Pastry Tech will be over.
I am hoping to finish this class with a solid A and move on to Cookies

I cannot believe how fast January has gone by..seems like yesterday I was in B block counting the days till Christmas break and now I am in G block and will be going on extern EXTREMELY soon.
Its insane.. and let me tell you.. the pressure is onnnnn!

that's all for tonight <3 Be peaceful

Everythings so perfect it's alittle scary...

Having so much to loose is nice.

Perfection is not something I have often strove for..
I want to be good.. maybe better than some but not perfect.. perfect leaves no room for growth.
But knowing life is going pretty well and I am happy and I am doing well in class
makes everything seem..almost perfect.

Despite the bad.. there was good.

I had a wonderful day.
I am feeling(health wise) muchhh better than I was
I got a letter from my amazinggg boyfriend today
I am currently downloading Sims3(thank you Al...yet another homework distraction)
My homework is dunzos..
I get to sleep in tomorrow
It's the last week of Pastry tech and I hold High hopes for the fast approaching February
Lifes good.
I'm also happy that I am happy.
A lot has been going on around me and it's hard to see through it all to the happiness.
I'm stayin strong though!

Also, I realized today that I am extremely excited to start a new block.. I think it's going to be a fun class with a good knowledgeable Chef. HOPEFULLY, I get a good partner to go along with it.

Today was good. Tomorrow will be better. Optimism
Hope you had a good day too! =D

<3 Be Peaceful

I'll stop the world and melt with you

Today...

is Sunday

My Fathers birthday[HAPPY BIRTHDAYYYYYY! (:  ]

69 days on the count down

and a good day.

I feel like progress was made today and for that I am greatful

This week will pass quickly I think and before I know it..

I will be in a new class with yet another new chef.

and I will be one block closer to Florida.

I feel optimism radiating through my skin

as if everyone can see the excitement and longing.

I am glad to feel happy about something and 

I am proud of myself for dealing with things the way I have been.. 

I feel like I am proving to myself that I have grown these few months I have been here

I want to grown up to be respectable to everyone, in the chance people will respect me.

Moral of the story?

despite all the bad, despite the drama, and of course stress.. I'm Happy.

Wise words..

The glass is always full.. half water, half air.

<3 Be Peaceful

Sickies.

Seems like I'm always sick these days and to be frank..
It's frustrating.
I want to be healthy again and being healthy would enable a lot of things in my life
like maybe actually wanting to go to class.
I just need to go back to Florida and actually go to the doctor...
not so sure I will have anymore time down there then I do up here though.
I thought this was supposed to be my prime?

ughhhhhhhhhh!


<3 Be Peaceful and feel better than I do.

Self edit your mouth.

Well folks... Today is officially my First... yes Very First Snow Day.

I am neither excited nor thrilled about this for two reasons...

We were supposed to have no school Monday... now we do to make up for it. So the plans I was trying to make that day no longer exist.

Secondly, I have things I need to get done and there is a crap ton of snow being dumped on everything... including Lola my little baby car.

But I suppose I will survive.

I would rather a hurricane day though.. for the record.

Tonight, I hung out with Ally.. per usual.

And we had an amazing time(if I do say so myself)

also I was quiet productive in doing my costing project which is not due until next Tuesday.

as well as doing my piping homework.. which I did at 2:30 Am... apparently this is when I am at my prime because my piping was 100% better than yesterdays piping.(good stuff)

and while I'm on the subject.... Who would have ever ThUnk that I would be piping chocolate for my homework and making edible roses... Not I!

I definitely did not sit in my Kindergarten desk and think..."hmmm you know.. I think I might grow up and play with chocolate for homework.."

but... LOOKY LOOKY! and I'm Lovin' it

While hanging out with Ally I also decided self editing of ones mouth may be the most important thing to learn how to do in the whole world.
Self editing may be hard, frustrating, and damn near impossible.
But it is possible and is very rewarding once mastered.
This was also partly due to the fact that Ally's mother who I much admire would be greatly disappointed in me if I did not Self edit my own mouth.  
Good lesson learned... I can do it with Chef.. now I need to practice real life.
Although... since I have moved to NY I believe my self editing has greatly improved and has even jumped to an almost mastered level.

To end this blog I would like to say.. I think I bruised my ribs from coughing to hard.(this is not funny)

and that Chelsea Allshouse is my Best friend for life.(SHOUTOUT!)

<3 Be Peaceful and HAPPY HUMP DAY!