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Sunday, December 26, 2010

havent posted in a while

its so weird to not be on my computer on a regular basis. but maybe i was just on it alot to pass the time quicker
now im home with everyone i love and especially my lovely boyfriend and the worlds pretty good besides me feeling like shit but whats new right?
the days are going by quick tho and soon it will be time to go back to ny, alone.
thats the unfortunate part..it cant last forever
but i made it last time i guess ill make it again.
im glad to report that the wait is def worth it..im loving every minute of my time
the new week is going to be even better since the holidays are over and im free to roam as i will
more at a later date when my heads not throbbing.
ten.ten.ten.

be peaceful

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Your hands are shaking cold, these hands are meant to hold.

The days have passed They are gone
I have made it.
and the reward will be suited for the kings
I am getting more and more anxious and my my brain has drifted
no longer does it contemplate pastry cream versus cream caramel
but Sleeping in versus spending the day out
Sleeping at home or not
What dinner options I will have
What presents I will receive
and what the turkey will be like this year
My mind is fixed....

On home.

10.10.10<3 I am in love with you.

<3 Be Peaceful and Happy Holidays.

P.S. List of sweet presents thus far:
Scooter
Mix Tapes
Hand warmers
Pickles
Paint
Air Freshner
Pencil Sharpener
Scarf
Buddah
Coasters
Necklaces
Earrings
Earrings
Picture frame
Candy

Amazingness

Monday, December 20, 2010

Home is where ever I am with you..

This song has come to mean so much to me over the last couple months as Ally has played it in our room..
At first I always thought of my boyfriend.. Because honestly I don't care where I am.. if he was there I think I'd be genuinely happy and I would do anything and go anywhere for him.
But tonight this song changed a little bit...
I realized tonight something I never had before.
Never have I ever met some one so genuinely caring.. some one sooo kind and unselfish.
And never have I ever had such a good friend.
I am happy to have you as my friend and you have made this home for me
I could never repay you and am forever greatful
I cannot wait to show you my home to which I hope you will consider a home away from home as well.

Thank you too everyone who wished me a Happy Birthday.. I appreciate it and my day had a really good ending.

the days are disappearing and are minimal soon I'll be exactly where I want to be
10.10.10

<3 Be Peaceful

You know why?

Because it's My Birthday and I'll cry if I want too.

Sunday, December 19, 2010

I'm tryin.

This is hard.
I thought it would get easier.
It hasn't
For some reason it feels harder, almost like it's taking more effort than ever before.
I wish it wasn't like this.
But I have no choice
Bliss is happiness.

They never said it was gunna be easy.. just that it would be worth it... right?
I need reassurance.


<3 Be Peaceful

Saturday, December 18, 2010

homeboys dying.. RUN!

Ever get that feeling that you're alone in a room full of people?
I know it's so cliche but the feeling is so true
I feel like I am alone in my thoughts and feelings.. there is no one to talk to that could truly understand
Yes I know I have loved ones and people that care about me to talk to but...
it's only to a certain point... they can nod their heads and tell me everything will work out and everything will be okay but it doesn't suppress my worries, thoughts, feelings, anxiety.
I don't know how I'm gunna do this... but I am gunna try because it will be worth it and in the end I will be happy.

ugh why can't I ever get good news.. not good news with some bad.
for once I just want good news.. everything to be good.

regardless.. I'm happy.
4 more days.
10.10.10

<3 Be Peaceful

p.s. Lord of the rings with Al and Morgan is dank. Love you guys, thanks for making me laugh, I need it.

waking up to you.

This morning I woke up to the usual...
My phone blinking green telling me I had missed a text or a call or something wanted my attention.
This happens most mornings and checking my phone as I wake up has become a habit
Usually its slightly annoying because it indicates that I cannot sleep through the night with out technology or the world around me bugging me.
Yes I do realize I could and most likely should turn my phone off but I'm a college student and frankly.... my phone plays a major role in my life.
It's my alarm clock, my news and weather channel, my email, my music player, horoscope, communication device, my internet source(when school internet does work which is usually), and I'm even blogging this currently on my phone.
I feel as if the day I turn off my phone I will miss that important call or email or text.
So as my phone blinked at me this morning.. half asleep I checked to see who I had missed chatting with
and much to my surprise and happiness I had one text only...
a text from my boyfriend whom I haven't seen in months.. saying I love you.
and this text made my day.
Not much currently could make me happier then waking up to a message from him
and it made me realize... I love him and I cant picture my self with any one else.
I'm happy... I hope who ever you are that's reading this is too...

10.10.10<3 five more days.

<3 Be Peaceful...
Make someones day today.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

it's not always rainbows and butterflies; it's compromise that moves us along.

Positivity in the worst situations is key.
If I believe things will turn out well in turn they will because I will strive to find the good in everything.
I am a strong believer in this theory. I think therefore I will be.
Maybe this is a naive approach but I like it.
and as many know my philosophy... whateva whateva I do what I want!
I feel like my mind has be lagging in a way.. like my brain is empty..
then I realized that I am just alright.
I'm not dying, My life doesn't suck horrible even though I believe it does sometimes, and I have a few people who actually care about me... So what's there to really process.
Well besides the endless list of what not I have to do.. but when is that not true in anyone's life?


On another note... I sat on a bed on the floor eating microwaved chicken nuggets with ranch and hot sauce tonight.
and I have to say it was one of the highlights of my week thus far...
I live for the night where I get to laugh with my roommates and do stupid things I'll probably forget by next week but made me happy in that moment.
Who cares about the rest of it.. I just wanna be happy right now.... it that okay?


6 days. 10.10.10<3


<3 Be Peaceful.... and make someone laugh today.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Pies and Scones alllll day.

Yesterday we made scones and biscuits
Today we made Pies.
I love scones and pies.. I have decided they are my passions.
I would makes them all day everyday if I could.
and even though I have been sick and have had a few crappy days.. making them made me happy.
Which was a nice change.

I am slightly stressed but I think it's about things that are not in dire need to be done.
I need to start a TO-DO list.

anyway... I am thrilled that we will be having roommate time(decided as of tonight)
and may I say it's much needed.. especially since we are all going home soon.

its freakin 3 am.. I'm going to sleep.. Ill write something of substance tomorrow.

7 days feels so close...
10.10.10<3

<3 Be Peaceful

Monday, December 13, 2010

LifetimeRealization.

"Your eating Ben and Jerry's in your PJ's watching a lifetime movie, that's how cliche this is!"- Juhbronie

As stupid and sappy as it was..this movie made me realize something though...

The last few days as the count down has gotten superrrr low (9days) I have been freaking out a little bit(actually a lot bit) and I have been super nervous.
For what reasons I cannot even begin to explain in any sense worthy way.
but here's what...
I'm scared.
I know this.. I know I am scared... I have the right to be?... Not sure..
But what I do know is that I am about to step into something that has been my fairy tale
something I have dreamt about
something my heart hinges off of
the "Perfect" if there ever could be one.

and the idea of this actually happening.. is frankly mind boggling 
and scary!

mostly because I cannot not go through with it.
I have to do this.. I want! to do this.
and there is potential... not only good but also the potential to break my heart.

Frankly..I'm just scared to have my heart broken.

thanks lifetime.
Marry me is a good movie.
Thanks for a good laugh Al and Steve.

10.10.10

<3 Be Peaceful

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Lets celebrate...

Sittin in my bed.. watching some movie(honestly don't know what it is) on BET..
Home work is done... Not motivated enough to take my laundry down stairs..
Ate chef Boyardee for dinner..

The college life at it's finest ladies and gentlemen.
And to top it off...
The weekend was pretty uneventful but I did catch up on my sleep which was a plus.

I had the biggest urge to pack today but obviously it's a little early since FL is still 10 days away.
It's going to be an amazing packing day though.. the girls.. opening presents.. getting pretty and ready to go.

End note... Christmas is gunna be epic..
and I need to find more entertainment. (maybe that's a sign I should study more)

<3 Be Peaceful

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Hmmm..

I have been trying to watch what I say in consideration of others feelings..
but you know what?
Some people do not deserve the sugar coated version ya know?
and it is hard to be nice to people when they are not nice to you..
But I AM trying. 

Anyway in more positive thoughts..
In less than two weeks I will be home
I have never wanted to be home so badly!
I am looking forward to the holidays so much

HOMEEEEE oh home I wish I were home.

I'm bored... Someone entertain me?

10.10.10<3

<3 Be Peaceful

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Haven't posted in 4 days.

I've been tired and have had a lot more homework then I use to.
But whats new is...
I am in Baking Techniques with Chef Haymon.. 
I didn't think I was going to like this class AT ALL
but although he isn't the biggest ray of sunshine I appreciate his way of teaching and I think I'm learning..
Which is the point.
I got a 10/10 on my first quiz which I am proud of.
Also I got my writing and Breads grades which boosted my GPA a little.
So overall I'm not doing so bad currently

I feel like this light at the end of the tunnel is what is really keeping me going.
Knowing I will be in Florida in less than two weeks making me so happy that I can hardly contain it
and I think about it pretty much constantly.
Although I suppose it is rather sad that once again I am wishing the days away..
I should be savoring everyday but.. it's hard with such events coming up

something else that is sad is that today I realized that maybe I am growing up
Every year prior I have had a birthday count down..
This year it feels like my birthday is on the back burner and maybe its not such a big deal
idk if it's because I will be in NY and wont really be celebrating or getting presents or anything
or if it's because going home excitement is out weighing it
or if in fact it is because you tend to care less about birthdays as you get older.
ugh who knows!

What I do know is.. I am tired.. Class and Yoga kicked my ass today
and I wish I would stop feeling sick....
welcome to the real world.

10.10.10 <3

<3 Be Peaceful my darlings.

Final Quote: "The first step to getting the things you want out of life is this; Decide what you want." -Ben Stein

Monday, December 6, 2010

In one ear and out the other.

First day of Baking Tech is dunzos.
Wasn't horrible..hopefully it stays that way.

I have had a lot of drama surrounding lately and I am here to say...
I'M OVER IT.
I don't want to deal with it anymore so I'm just gunna do me and not worry about people making asses out of themselves.
and that's the end of that just needed to make that quick announcement.

anyways, For some reason I felt like maybe I would get mail today but.. nothin.
Not getting mail here is unfortunate.. Its feels like jail and mail is your only life line.
Maybe if I start sending more mail I will get more mail? hmm.

another thing I would like to mention is Floridians bitching about being cold.
I am cold.
You are not cold.
and you should be thankful because you know all off you bitch mid summer when it's hot as shit.
Hot here is a blessing because its always chilly or freezing or a variation there of.
Sooo.. put on a freakin long sleeve and shut it.
I have like 8 layers on and look like I weigh 300 pounds.

I feel a little all over the place in this blog and in general lately but I guess in consideration of stuff going on in my life.. it's to be expected. 
Also I feel like my blogs haven't been filled with much readable content lately.. I'll try to fix this.
Only 16 more days till I will have a clear mind and everyone I love.
10.10.10ily

<3 Be Peaceful and Warm

p.s. Racket Ball with Al = Loveeeee<3333

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Want you to make me feel like I'm the only girl in the world...

Actual post of the day..
I'm sad the weekend is over
although I didn't have the best weekend
there were some highlights though.
A few I will mention (or re-mention I'm unsure)
Hangin' with Al eating McAwesomes.
Hangin' out with Steve "Juhbronie" Doucakis.
Venting to mi madre.
I'm not sure of much else.
but anyway, I'm not thrilled to be starting this next block..
I guess I'm going in with negative thoughts and maybe it will turn out to be a good block
I try to be positive but its hard sometimes
feels like it's especially hard around here.
I was a much happier more positive person back home.
Some things are just getting to me which I will not mention currently because I feel like I'm always complaining about something.


So positive = I am superrr excited to go home and get to celebrate the holidays and my birthday with everyone
also I cant believe I have been at CIA for this long and I guess it hasn't really killed me.
It hasn't snowed yet which I am very thankful for
and lastly I have started a project on my own and I am enjoying it greatly, keeps my mind of things just need a few more supplies for it.
18 days 10.10.10 <3

Song of the day- Only Girl By Rihanna

<3 Be Peaceful
And thanks for reading.

Epic Fail

I recieved an amazing letter from my bf.
and now.. I lost it.
I feel like puking and crying and screaming all at the same time.
could I fail at life a little harder?


End of post.

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Hello Lover.

I have started some bad habits and they must stop
Sleeping in until 1pm is not cool man
also I have skipped out on the gym this past week so I need to get back on track with that as well

Anyways I have had a really fun weekend full of Ally and I have missed it greatly
Also I would like to say that I am almost done Christmas shopping.
and I am ready to be done!

lastly keeping this short and sweet...
I would really like to find some fun activities along with some outdoor adventures to take part in.
I want to be out. Off of campus and active.
any ideas?

Only 19 days until I return to the always great Florida
I cannot believe the countdown is already in the teens..
seems like it was 68 just yesterday and I was wondering how I'd manage..
I guess I have managed and now...
WE ARE ON THE HOME STRETCH LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!
10.10.10<3

<3 Be Peaceful

Thursday, December 2, 2010

It really is the little things.

I didn't have an amazing day in breads class today but..
When I returned to my room I got dressed and Al and I went on our way
The plan was to start our Christmas shopping. Kohls and Walmart were the targets.
So we drove and talked and vented to each other about current life situations
Once we got to Kohls we shopped around, didn't really buy much but looked around.
Then at Walmart we made laps and laps around the store in search of Christmas goodies.
On the way home we talked about the upcoming visit home and she put to rest some worries I was having
By this point we had gotten superrrr hungry since our CIA meal swipes left us with plenty to ask for.
So we stopped at the always trusty Mickey D's
As we looked at the menu , we quickly decided the dollar menu was the way to go.
and I explained to her the glory of the McAwesome.
McAwesome: 1 McDouble 1 McChicken. Slap them together and you have a McAwesome.
One of the best inventions in the world. The best of both worlds.
We both ordered the needed ingredients along with fries and drinks.
As we sat to feast we talked about how long it had been since it was just us two.
Back in the day it was always just Al and Stephie but lately it was usually the gang.
The change of pace was nice and refreshing to say the least.
anyways we feasted and spoke of how delicious it was all the while.
I suppose we discussed other things too but most likely less important.
As Al reached her last bite of McAwesome for some reason I looked up at her.
She put the chunk of awesome in her mouth and there was the slightest smirk across her face.
And that was the moment I realized it really is the little things.

Now I told you that to tell you this.

The McAwesome, the shopping, the alone time with my wonderful roommate is what made my day.
The sheer happiness that was wiped across Al's face as she finished her sandwich made my day.
The way I made her laugh when I told her the best Christmas gift would be a picture of her eaten a cheeseburger made my day.(in fact I love making Al laugh it's always really funny)
The hug from Al made my day.

Thank you Allyson Ball.
If it were not for randomly getting thrown into a dorm with you I would not have made it this long and will not make it through college. I love you my lil lady bug<33

Be Peaceful<3
And be grateful for those around you and the little things.

It's the little things that make or break your day in the end.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

2 a days.

With help from Al.
I just tried to use some of my remaining extra meal swipes at court side.
Starting swipes left: 32

Items bought:
9 cookies/brownies
8 pints of Ben and Jerrys
4 Ben and Jerry's Ice cream bars
2 Ice Cream cookie sandwiches
2 Twix ice cream bars
1 Snickers Ice Cream bar
5 Bags of chips
9 Bottles of water

Remaining swipes left: 23

WTHHHH am I supposed to do with 23 swipes! hahaha
Our fridge is stockedddd... gotta love the college life huh?

I'm tired.. I need to study for my final tomorrow... ugh
 Ice cream party instead?
I think soooo!

<3 Be Peaceful