Life is Life no matter which way you live it.

My Parents came to Orlando this weekend.
It was nice to have some unconditional love.
I miss having them around more but
I know this is part of growing up and it is helping me figure out who I am when I stand alone.
In Orlando I have been doing alright
not everything is perfect but with 46 more days I can't really complain.
I have been getting more days off and things have been going alright.
I am ready to have a break from work and school and I'm ready to see my friends in New York.
Overall I am trying to be positive.
Trying to get out of the apartment a little more
and trying to read more because I realized it for some reason is extremely relaxing to me.

Besides all of this..
I need to get some stuff together in life.
Figure out what is coming next because it is approaching fast.

10.10.10<3
<3 Be Peaceful

Pay me no mind.

All I feel lately is numb.
There are some things you need in life. Not a want but a need.
Some of the needs can fall by the way side for a while but sooner or later...
It's bound to catch up.

In real life I do a lot of things on my own.
And I don't mind being alone.
I have never been an attention seeker and I don't think that will change about me but..
Attention is a necessity in some outlets.
Without it the outlet is non existent.. if that makes sense.

What I am trying to say is.. I don't have time for this childhood nonsense.
Step up your game.

<3 Be Peaceful and never be number 2

ups and downs

I haven't blogged in a while.. I guess I just haven't had much to say or the energy to say it.

I like living in Orlando but I don't have the worlds best job in my opinion.
I believe Disney has more to offer than what I have been given and for that I am truly disappointed.
What I am not disappointed about is the people I have met and the things I have learned.
I can't say I have learned much Baking wise as I do pretty much the same thing everyday at work but..

What I have learned is.. what I do not want to do to make a living, how to be a good worker especially compared to others, the more questions you ask the more information you may or may not get, and that if you bonded once..you might bond again.

I am grateful to have encountered people such as my prep chef at work because she is truly a pastry chef and has been nothing but insightful since I met her. I am also grateful to live with 5 other girls and be able to say BEEN THERE.. DONE THAT.. bought that shirt and don't wanna do it again!

Although I am grateful for what Disney and Orlando has offered me..
I have found myself missing New York and the little that Hyde Park has to offer.
Now don't get me wrong.. I don't miss the snow or cold.
But I do miss the people.. the things to do.. the simple life.. and meals being made for me =)

For now I am looking ahead for the next 65 days to fly by and to have a month of vacation in my own bed.
Hopefully sometime in between all this mess I will get to spend time with my Boyfriend.
ugh.

<3 Be Peaceful cause nothing else will do.

I think this is how love goes.. check yes or no.

=)
Tomorrow is Wednesday and obviously after that comes Thursday and then.. I get some time to go home.
I can't wait.. I have been looking forward to it for awhile.
Although it doesn't seem like it's going to be the perfect trip home.. it will be nice.
Obviously Alan will be missing which I guess I can unfortunately say I am getting used to.
I wish it wasn't that way but I guess that is the next natural step in this situation.
Learning to get along with life when you can't be with the people you love.
I keep hoping he will show up but.. so much disappointment makes getting my hopes up more difficult than usual.
I jsut wish everyday to see him soon.

Other than the upcoming vacation, This extern is flying by..and I am ready for it to be over with.
I want to get into my second year and finish at CIA.
Have a degree already and say I'm worth something.

ugh life.

<3 Be Peaceful.

10.10.10<3

hmm..

Even though I have been working my butt off here at disney I am happy that I am making some money again finally.
Also its nice to hear from my bosses that I am doing a good job. That makes my bad days a little brighter.
Other than work I am ahead of schedule on my modules and would like to keep it that way.. keep my self stress free.
Today I have the day off then I have to work 11 days straight which sucks but that leads straight into me going home for a few days. Which I am really excited and happy about. Even though one thing is obviously going to be missing. He is in my heart and knows I will be thinking of him the whole time.
Speaking of missing today I actually missed New York for just a few seconds. It was weird but I know I will no longer miss it once I get back there lol.
I am itching to go and get this schooling over though so I can move on.

Never the less.. life is going pretty okay.

<3 Be Peaceful.

10.10.10<3

private.

I am me.
and I am happy even when I'm not.
I am happy even when I'm not smiling..
that just the way I am.
In public and in private.
please stop telling me to smilee

<3 Be Peaceful

10.10.10

i dont remember you looking any better then again i dont remember you

depressing to say the least.
im not sure how to keep my emotions in check anymore.
i feel like life can only get like sixty percent good anymore because such important things are missing from my life
i wish i could explain how i feel but no one understands
im tired.
tired of a lot of things.
including sleeping in this bed..especially alone.

be peaceful.
ten.ten.ten.